I MISS YOU

"Hey,

I know we haven’t seen each other or even talk to each other in a while, but I want you to know that I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I want you to know that I miss you. Not I regret what happened or I want to see you again, just I miss you, just I miss you. It’s so strange to think that someone I knew so well is now a total stranger to me, that sometimes I go entire days without thinking about you. Most of the time, I let myself forget because it’s easier. But then I find something, a photo, a gift, the stupid love letters we used to give each other, and the full weight of what’s being lost crashes down on me. 

Part of me wants to see you again, to hold you again, to kiss you again, but all of those feelings become empty thoughts when I look back now remembering that love isn’t always what it seems. It’s just so easy to forget. But this isn’t regret, we had our reasons for ending it, and they are as valid as ever. But back at the start, we didn’t need any reasons to fall in love. We just did.

The reasons came at the end, and everything since then has been about reasons. And that’s good, means that one day I’ll find someone who won’t have to say goodbye to me. But a part of me just misses loving someone and having them love you back. That’s all. I guess what I’m saying is, I hope things are good with you. I hope everything is great. I hope everything is great. I hope you have found a love that’s all the things ours couldn’t be. But just a small part of me hopes that you still remember what it was like before all the reasons and that you miss me too."

Imagine composing and typing all of those words that came from your heart to send it to someone that you really loved and miss and then all of the sudden, just delete it and pretend that it didn't come out from you. Pretend that you just don't really care because you know that the other person doesn't feel the same way anymore.

It hurts right? This is something that I found on Youtube last week by The Beyond Project and since then, I couldn't forget about it. I just can't. Maybe because I can relate on how sad to end things between someone you really love due to "reasons" or maybe I really do miss someone too. 

I just want to share this to you guys because it was really good. Play the video, close your eyes and imagine how hurtful it is. You wouldn't notice that your eyes are already sweating. Everytime I hear this, my lungs just suddenly feel so heavy, and you know why...

THE VAMPS IN PHILIPPINES 2017

The British pop rock band The Vamps will be returning in Manila for their Middle of the Night Tour on October 6, 2017 at Ayala Mall Vertis North, Luna Drive in Quezon City.

This is supposed to be a very good news to me especially that I stan The Vamps so much since 2014 but unfortunately, I couldn't come. This blog is actually my way of expressing how depressing it is for me that I couldn't attend their concert. 

I've never missed a single concert of The Vamps here in Manila. I still can remember the feels when I found out that they will visit here for the first time way back 2015. It was a very unforgettable experience of my life. To be honest, The Vamps took my concert virginity so it was really something that I wouldn't forget for the rest of my whole life. Since then, I promised that I will always come and never miss any concerts of the boys here in Manila. I even attended their first album signing in Glorietta after their first ever concert here. I was even in their Video Diary here in Manila. 

I attended their 3Logy Concert last 2016 with Before You Exit and The Tide. I came even without a friend. Even when my parents were hindering me to go. I went to their concert and again, had the happiest time of my life. Later that year, they went back having an Acoustic Tour in Kia Theater and I met my Vampette Family there, had fun together, enjoyed our time while jamming to acoustic versions of their songs. It was indeed fun. Attending their concerts and seeing them on stage singing, dancing and having fun has always been the highlight of my every year.

Unfortunately, this year I won't attend their concert in Quezon City. This is really heartbreaking for me. I know this might sound dramatic but ... I cried and I'm speechless because there is really no words that can describe how tragic this is for me. I have the money, I can travel very far because I am from the South. Then why not go, AJ? I know you're asking why I couldn't go to the concert. Well the reason is that it's scheduled Friday and I have work from 9 in the evening to 6 in the morning. Why can I just go absent? Well I am just on my training period and I was absent the whole week last week because of my corneal injury so if I will attend this concert, I will 101% be removed from the Company. I need this job, I really do. I know this is sad, really, but I have to work. If only it was scheduled Saturday then hell yes, I'm freaking gonna come but it's not. I'm broken. 

It has been my promise to go to their concerts here in Manila but this time, I'm gonna break it. I know I am not the only fan or a Vampette here in the Philippines but I wish October 6 won't exist and we'll just jump off to the 7th.

Brad, James, Tris and Connor. I am a disappointment, I know. I love you guys and if there is only a way that I could come then I will but I am stuck in this situation. Kill me T.T

All the love, Angelica Jacob xoxo